In the Eighties and 90ties it was (physical) 'Fitness' these last years it was (mental and physical) 'Wellness' - now a new word was created 'Selfness'.
What is that? - Not much of definition or clear explanation to be found yet, and if, it has too much to do with business, working process, not all aspects of life. So I feel free to make up my own definition, an explanation of what I mean by Selfness, without starting too sound too philosophical.
Selfness is about the Individual, about the inside - in short the own Self.
How do you feel deep inside? - physical and mental? - why do you feel that? - in which situation? How, when and why do you feel well? What are your Needs? What can you do to make yourself feel better? What can you do for Your Self?
The human inside the society has to many things, also for her/himself - to be accepted as a member of the society. Things like... Work - not only to feed and house himself and the family, but be efficient; Be active, fit, friendly, popular, and what not, fit into the picture of his society.
Then it is said, we should not live for working, but work for living.... And society tells us grossly what living is - whatever trend is trend is 'in' basically, and we work to follow, wether we want deep inside or not. Even mental and physical health and how it is dealt with sometimes comes across as such a trend.
Self Improvement is another trend. We strive to learn how to improve ourselves, how to make the best of ourselves. We follow books, which without any doubt do contain wisdom and proven facts. We are supposed to apply what we read to ourselves, wether we dare to disagree, or understand it completely or not. We look for help from such books on Selfimprovement. Or on Self help. And we do not get the same results as all those others, and we ask ourselves more or less desperately, WHY? - The book was not written about us, the author had no idea of our existance, and it is a mere coincidence if the same thing concerns us as much as someone else.
To find best acceptance in society one must develop Individuality (yes, that is a contradiction, which to solve would just be a waste of time) - wether you feel well just swimming inside the crowd or not, people nonsensically work on their individuality, try to gain it from outside. But everybody is an Individual anyways and thus has Individuality - only, it must be detected, inside, where it always has been.
Yes, Selfness has to do with thinking exclusively for and about yourself. But it is a mistake to mix it up with selfishness!
When You do not feel well inside in whatever place or situation, you have an influance on the overall climate of this surrounding. For instance, when Mum is not feeling well, she cannot make her Family feel completely well. Energy, that is absorbed by stress, illness, or other negative influences can not be used positively for others. When we finally stop blaming ourselves (which also uses up life energy) as selfish, we can freely cultivate our Self(ness), thus deeply improve our Self in an easy, natural way. And we would be much better prepared to give back, to be strong for others to pick those needs of society we have to obey to in which we perform best.
Selfness is the state of being when we know our Self, when we focus on ourself, find the best compromise for our Self inside our Self when dealing with society needs. It refers to body and mind. It is not only wellness, but it is the only state of being, in which we can succeed in so many aspects of life.
Selfness is by far not as aloof as it sounds. It has very simple logical aspects. For instance - to come back to the subjects of my blog: when you know your body, when you listen to it, you will know what muscle to move in what way. That sounds complicated again, but you do know your body best (as well as your mind), you are inside it. The better you know a problem about you, the easier you find the solution or can go for professional help, without guessing, directly to the point.
Before we waste efforts and lose time with solving any problems in a circumstancial way, we should go down to the very roots. Find Your Self. And from that point organize everything else.
